Showing posts with label Life in Marksville. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life in Marksville. Show all posts

Sunday, January 2, 2022

Holiday Excitement

 We had a pretty good Christmas even with stress, illness, and a tree that wouldn't light this year. Our tree that my youngest daughter and oldest granddaughter put up and decorated needed help that was not available this year from the angel who has seen better days that we let go of when they took down the tree to the lights that no longer worked which caused us to toss the tree altogether. We plan on buying a new tree, ornaments, and angel for 2022. 

From all of the stress of the girls, my stomach started acting up and nothing was moving, causing me a lot of pain. Once the stress was removed my body started working and I was on the mend. We had Christmas Eve with my Son's family and boy do I love seeing the boys enjoy their presents. It brings me so much joy to be able to see them and spend time with them. 

Christmas was spent with all of the girls which was great and stressful all at the same time. My oldest daughter is just struggling and the fight is up in your face real, too much for me in my current condition to even get my mind around. I have placed her in God's hands as I need to heal so I can be there for everyone. 

Like I said before my husband only half guessed his pistachios but never guessed his larger presents which he loves by the way. The girls made out like bandits as usual. I got a three their fruit bowl that didn't make our last move, some really nice warm mittens, gloves, and hats, a whole case of chocolate Candy that used to be sold here in America but no longer is that my husband had delivered from England, I got a new Quill pen, wax, and a monogrammed wax stamper and all different kinds of colored wax to seal my letters with, a massager, nail files, and a piece of art with all of our children's names on it. I think there might have been something else but not sure. 

On the 28th I had my appointment with my Primary Care Physician and it was mainly a catch-up visit and setting up my next visit. It went well. I am down 36 lbs from my pre-op weight. I have a phobia of eating so we are keeping a close eye on that to make sure it doesn't get out of hand but this last week I have finished my plate twice which has made my husband happy. 

Our home has come to getting excited if I make a bowel movement and if  I eat. It's like a party up in here at any given time. Whoot Whoot. There are plenty of sad times but we like to focus on the good times as much as possible. 

I had someone cause some undue stress the night before my operation but it has been worked out. I don't think I will ever understand why people do things to hurt others. 

On the 30th I had my surgery to get more port placed. It went well. I was awake the whole time talking with the Dr. and Nurses, although I did sleep well when I finally got home. On the way home, since we know my chemotherapy treatments will cause neuropathy I had a Dairy Queen Banana Split and I enjoyed each and every bite savoring it for all, it's worth as it may be a long time before I can enjoy ice cream again. As for my port, it is still tender and still has a few days to heal. 

Later on the 30th we would find out that two of the people who were helping my daughter move her stuff into storage came back positive for Covid-19. We still rang in the New Year but I have to call my Dr.'s first thing Monday to see how they want to proceed with my care this week. I am thinking they might hold back my chemotherapy a week to see what my daughter's test says. Sadly there are no rapid tests open so we have to wait for the longer test to come back which seems to take forever. So far I still have the dry cough I have since my surgery in November and nothing else so we are taking that as a good sign. 

We are still taking one day at a time and enjoying the time we have together. Holidays can be stressful but please always try to find the happy moments. I know that is what gets me through. Here is to a New Start to a New Year for everyone!

Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Emotional Overload

 Today we had an education day about my Chemotherapy. It went well, we toured the chemotherapy room, and got acquainted with the nurses. I also met with billing and everything is a go from my insurance, at least for now. I also got the date for the operation to get my port put in which is December 30th. 

Before we even left this morning I had a surprise. My daughter Nesie picked up my daughter Samantha and Lilly so they would be here for Christmas. Hugging Samantha is what I needed to get my day started and then I saw her face. Her teeth are in really bad shape. She 27 and there is nothing left to them. How does that even happen? I know her life choices and the fact that she battles with anorexia and bulimia is a big part of it but it was still a shock. I told her she needs to find a surgeon and get all of her teeth pulled and get dentures. To see my baby in pain because of her teeth is heart-wrenching. 

Then we had Nesie she is a mess. She had a breakup and my granddaughter and she both have to be out of the house by December 31st with nowhere to go, and with me being sick. Nesie has had a lot on her plate. Nesie has a lot of decisions to make in a short time and it is putting a toll on her boy and mind. I can suggest things and listen to her but I can't make her decisions for her. Lets just say she isn't having it easy right now. 

Being a mother seeing your children in pain or turmoil is hard to see when you aren't able to fix it for them. Like I said on my Facebook. " I liked it better when they were all really little and we had all the answers for them. A kiss, a hug, or time just with them is all they needed to make things better." It's hard, please remember people who look fine may be going through rough times or have to make a tough decision, be kind.

We had lots of tears on the way up and on the way back from the Clinic. Big note make sure you have tissues on hand in the car for these very moments. We did finish the night off by ordering Chinese for Dinner. Everyone ate together talking and I think the night ended well for everyone before the girls were off till Christmas Day.

Monday, December 20, 2021

Where I am right now

 So I know it has been some time since I have written, but life just flies right by in the blink of an eye. These days even more so. Our family is looking forward to the Holidays. This year my husband and I bought presents for each other which doesn't happen very often. We have been married 31 years and maybe only a handful of times have we bought gifts for each other. It has always been about the kids and family. This year has thrown us a curveball and we took a stand just buying for our children, grandchildren, pets, and for each other.

 I did however not let my husband buy anything for me until I made it through my operation. I made it and he started ordering right away. There is one present, the big one he said but the last time he updated me it was still on the other side of the planet. Time will tell if it makes it here on time. His however have all made it and are wrapped and ready. He is super excited to guess what his presents are and he is dead on good doing it. This year I don't think he will guess. He guessed his large presents were toolboxes. Sorry honey but you're dead wrong. I know he will guess some of the smaller gifts by feel but the larger ones no way not in a million years. 

 I will update everyone more about my health but wanted to try and write a little something each day so that there is a kind of diary for others who may be going through what I am going through or if I pass for my family to look back on. I love them so. I have a great medical team, a supportive family, supportive friends, and many new friends to make along my journey. When I am feeling alone and at my lowest, I feel God's presence and he comforts me. He often sends my husband to me, puts a song into my head,  someone calls,  or messages me. Jesus is awesome and never leaves my side. Thank you to all those who pray for me, message me, or call me. You are all wonderful. Hugs. 

Monday, September 20, 2021

Health Update

 Between homeschooling, family day, Narnia Night, and having my granddaughter over for the weekend, we have been super busy. Also, we were hit with a lot of information and are still sorting things out. First of all, when they find cancer they like to come up with a plan within the first 30 days. Because of my other health issues, it will take a bit more time to sort out.

I have to get my Gynecologist to contact my Surgeon to see what his plan for the growth on my ovaries will be. When and if they cut me they want it to be once. My biopsies have been sent to a second pathologist for more testing. Also, I have to have more tests to make sure my cancer has not spread. They don't want to do anything with my diverticulitis right now unless it is an emergency and I was told I could eat anything as the seeds, nuts, etc are only a myth (so many Dr.'s and patients disagree with this).

We talked about weight loss surgery but we have kept food diaries in the past and I eat less than most people so my weight gain doesn't match my intake, so maybe more movement is needed which has gotten seriously less over the last 13 years due to pain from my fibromyalgia, back, and of course more weight gain from not moving as much. There just isn't an easy answer to all of this. To be quite honest it seems like we don't have all of the information we need yet. So until the Dr.'s talk, the results from the pathology come back, and I get more testing we are at a standstill.

I am sorry I don't have any better news, my health issues just make it extremely hard for the Dr.'s to come up with a plan to treat or medicate me. I hope to have more of an update in the coming weeks. I am scared, this isn't easy on me or my family. We are just praying and taking one day at a time, enjoying the time we have together, and finding joy in each day, until we can take the next step. Thank you to everyone who keeps asking how we are doing and for updates. Keep the prayers coming. Hugs.

Friday, August 20, 2021


The call wasn't really that long and I am not quite sure when it started but once I heard it my eyes went right to the clock on my phone like I could freeze time in place. See I have been sick lately although, I guess you can say I have been sick all of my life with one thing or another.

I had a double precedure on 8/17/2021  that was more then what they had expected to find. They removed pieces and resected me, then sent the pieces off to be tested. 

I was thinking I wouldn't hear anything till I saw the Surgeon. on Friday but Thursday night at around five in the evening the call came in. It was the Dr. I know a Dr. doesn't call unless it is something, not that late, good news can always wait. I have had these calls before up to 10:30 pm. 

This time it would be the word I thought I would never hear. The C word, The Big C,  CANCER, they found cancer and they aren't sure they got it all because they had to cut it out of me in little pieces. 

The first thing we did was call our children and branch out from there. Today after two more calls I will be posting on my social media. There are just too many people to contact with the news. Social Media is quicker besides telling everyone the same thing over and over just tires me out more then I already am. 

Of course almost everyone so far is asking how I am taking it, how is my husband, the kids. Well I don't know we are still processing it. My husband went to bed early, me I can't sleep, the kids are being supportive. 

People ask what the next steps are. Well the Surgeon tomorrow and then a call to oncology for an appointment to see just what those next steps will be. Of course I have to call my Primary Doctor as well as my Genecologist. You see they found a growth on my left ovary right before Covid-19 changed up everything, that they have veen watching. It is right next to where they found the cancer in my colon so everyone needs to be on board for this.

I suppose I am writing here for myself more then for my readers but hey who knows, something I might say might save someone's life. 

Some people asked did I know or think something was up. When has something not been up with my health? The answer is yes. Even when I am not having Diverticulitis pain I feel something in my stomach which is actually my intestines. It feels like something is eating me alive, gnawing at my insides. It took awhile of it happening to say anything to my husband, he even ordered a pregnancy test hoping I was just pregnant. When it came back negative that is when he started to really worry.

Then in June I had blood tests. I saw the results. It showed my bone marrow had kicked in and my red and white cell counts were all in the wrong places. I am not dumb. I was just hoping it was the infections I kept getting over and over and that the numbers would get better. So did I have an idea I sure did.

My appointments were already set so things couldn't go any quicker. I was supposed to have my precedure back in 2018, but between Dr.'s retiring, cases being shifted, busy schedules with kids and then Covid-19 we kept putting things off, there always tomorrow (Isn't that what we tell ourselves?). Last year things began to get worse with infection after infection which is what put my precedure further out finally after  being infection free for 8 weeks I had my predcedures. So here I am. 

Saturday, December 26, 2020

My husband spoiled me

 Way before Christmas even before our anniversary he ordered me a new recliner so that I could sit in the living room with comfort. It took about 8 weeks to get here but came just days before Thanksgiving. He also ordered me new L.L. Bean slippers. My last pair lasted over 20 years and my slippers went missing during one of our moves so he asked which ones I wanted and ordered them for me. Christmas time was coming so I didn't really expect anything much if anything for Christmas. 

My computer has been chugging along like a old decrepit dinosaur hardly ever merging with our internet even with update, rolling it back, emptying cache, getting rid of cookies etc. We tried everything except for resetting to factory settings. I just have so much that we would have to save and his computer just does not have the room to hold my information and his while he could do this. 

I kept just using my computer and having things take twice as long, sites crashing, and my screen blinking. Zoom meeting were no longer working well, and my computer had to be restarted many times to get things accomplished, many times losing what I was working on and having to start all over again from scratch. I ended up scrapping most with frustration. 

Christmas morning came and I sat down and was about to tell the girls to take my computer into the bedroom when I noticed my black computer had turned silver. He had ordered a computer for me after asking me what I needed and he said it had came much earlier then expected so he had time to covertly copy my old computer files and transfer them to my new one. He had been saving money up and spent it on me. 

I wondered how he got it past me and he said it actually came one day when I was taking a nap so he didn't have to do anything too much out of the way. With the prices of computers going sky rocket he was waiting for a sale and ended up buying one right from HP themselves and was able to find exactly what I needed at a much lower price then others were asking for computers with less capabilities. 

I feel both loved and blessed for the gifts he bought me. Now I can breeze through sites, responding and posting things with little effort. Life is so much easier and to think I have only had my computer in my hands for a little over 24 hours. Now I can post more often and get back to reviewing products without fighting to get things posted. 

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Do you have a hateful child?

 Do you have a child that is very different from the rest of your children? You know the one who you try to make happy and all they do it find something to complain about. Well I have one. We have 6 children and not one of the other children complained about almost everything they were given. From food, clothes, shelter, gifts, friends, family members, siblings, to us being her parents. 

She has never made friends easily or kept them very long, she finds fault in everything while as an adult you can see it is her that is at fault. It really is sad. It is not that we don't love her because we do. We are worried about how she will do when she is out on her own in the world. 

Take for instance this Christmas. She looked at her pile and then at her sister's. There are just two of them left in the home now. She said it seems like everytime I was bad you bought my sister another present. Funny thing is, is that I was thinking the very same thing the night before. Maybe subconsciously I did. 

We live with a daughter who finds fault almost everywhere, she doesn't like how people talk to her, while she thinks swearing is just fine and dandy. She doesn't follow directions causing things to go wrong often, and while we remind her following directions is important for future job employment, she reminds us that she will do what she likes and if her boss doesn't like it they can go *#@! themselves. By the way words like this are generally in every sentence she makes. 

I told you she is quite the character. She tells me almost daily that I should just die, or hopes I will die soon. She says this to her father and siblings as well. She is abusive to her siblings verbally and sometimes even physically. She thinks all old people should be killed off, that adults have to work for her respect. All the while she is sure to put people down until they just can't take anymore and move on to a better relationship. 

She is remote learning for her Senior Year and got a referral for responding to a teacher inappropriately. They couldn't really punish her too much because she isn't actually in school, so even though we stressed how much she should not do this she sees nothing wrong with what she did. She is now 18 and I can't wait for her to move out so we don't have to be stressed about what she might do on any given day. 

It is so hard to say this when as a mom you never really want your kids to move out, you want them little forever so you can protect them from everything, but as a parent you are to teach them how to survive when you are no longer around to pick up the pieces or help them get on the right path. It is heartbreaking to see a child or in this case young adult struggle so much. 

We took parenting classes and they worked for the most part with the other kids, but for some reason not with her. Somedays we are scared to be in the same home with her. She is really abusive, but not so much where we need to call the police although there have been a few close calls. 

Now with all of that being said, she can be good. I have seen her in public do the right things, helping an elderly person, being nice to children, and being polite, so I see the qualities we instilled in her. Things did get through to her. I just hope and pray they continue to grow inside of her. She is beautiful on the outside, just something on the inside, is inside out and twisted. 

I don't want to hear about we should have done this or that, we tried everything in our own upbringing and what the State sees as appropriate and nothing works. Now that she is an adult she has to start making those choices on her own. 

Until that day comes and maybe even after , the older children  and younger will continue to have those on the side glances, questions, and conversations on why is she so different. I know she will read this someday and I am OK with that. It doesn't' change the fact that I love her with all of my heart and soul and would give just about anything to keep her safe. As a parent I can only do so much with the rest being  up to God and her to deal with. 

My hopes is that someday she will be in a much better place mentally and can look back at her upbringing to find joy where we could fit it in. I want her to reach for her dreams with determination and confidence. I wish her well on her journey into adulthood. 

As a parent thinking these thoughts are hard much less sharing them with my readers, but I wanted those out there going through what we are going through to know you are not alone. Don't lose faith. Pray continually for your children. I know prayer works, it can just take years to actually see the results. Lovingly support their dreams along the way, while trying to instill in them best qualities you can in the short time you have to raise your child before they venture out into the world on their own. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Our favorite Popcorn Popper

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I sign up for lots of freebie sites but mainly find out that the things aren't what was pictured or you just never get them at all. For this I honestly forgot where it was free from but know it was from Williams Sonoma where I signed up. I had to set up an account and a registry and add Cuisinart items that I would like to receive up to a certain price and you would get a microwave Cuisinart popcorn popper. I had to fill it out a form with my information and send it in.

I did this a while ago and today I got a package in the mail. I let my daughter open it up as we didn't know what it was and I hear a squeal of excitement from her. The popper had come just in time for after school snack.

We immediately opened it up, read the instructions, and made our first batch. Three batches later we are totally in love. Shhh I liked it so much I actually ordered some for gifts for my Children who have their own homes.

We made a pact that when we really loved something we got in the mail or bought ourselves we would buy that product for our older children as well as tell our readers about a great product that does what it says.

We have had microwave popcorn poppers before that just burned the popcorn and tried the hacks ending in burns or scalds, but this works great.

What I love about this is that I know what is going in and on my popcorn. All you do is make the bowl full size. It folds flat for space saving storage, best thing ever. Then if you want the full 10 cups of popcorn you will add 1/3 cup of popcorn kernels and set your microwave to 4 minutes. That is it. We have a small counter top microwave and thought it would take longer but the 4 minutes was perfect. A tip is to count 1-2-3 and if you don't hear a pop it is done.  From here you have beautiful unflavored fluffy popcorn goodness that is just waiting for your favorite seasonings.

We just made ours with real melted butter and salt, but later my daughter put some butter and some powdered ranch seasoning on hers. I know our movie and game nights just took a giant leap to fun and flavorful popcorn that I can feel good about serving to our friends and family.

If you are interested right now they have a great price but prices and availability are subject to change. Check it out below.

Sunday, December 29, 2019

A year in the life of Marksville

I won't paint a pretty picture for you because this year was not full of happy stories in the least. We lost 10 friends and family this year. such a large amount to lose in a years time. Sadly most were from overdoses which just floors me that the epidemic has hit so close to home. A few died of old age or accidents. So many lives lost and I know some did not have a relationship with the Lord which makes it all that much heartbreaking.

For our family even though we feel blessed for what we have, we lost so much over the last year. My faith was really tested. Some of my readers who know a few years after my husband's accident when all of our savings had been depleted  and before his disability kicked in, (which took forever) we ended up separated and homeless for just shy of two years combined. After all of that we just found out in October after paying on our storage unit that it had been sold for 300.00. It had our personal papers, pictures, lifelong objects, etc. We had been paying on it for more then a year we have been in our apartment. They wouldn't let us take anything out till it was paid off so we were making monthly payments and extra for the overdue amount. The numbers seemed to never end. We went without in many areas trying to make these payments as what my husband gets for disability hardly covers the bills. A few times we had car repairs or upkeep that kept us from paying so that didn't help either. Then our van broke down and there it sits in our yard useless till we can get it fixed. Not sure how long that will take.

This may sound gloom and some days it is. I am often reminded of an item or more that we really need or used to have and I get angered. It doesn't last long but it hurts. I feel for those who have fires I do, but with this our stuff is somewhere so I know it is out there being used. We just pray that no one steals our identities with the information that was in the storage unit. I ask my readers that if they know someone is going to become homeless to offer a safe place for their belongings till they get back on their feet.

Don't get me wrong, some days I feel relieved to not have to worry about the things that were in storage we didn't need that were just taking up space. I know most of the things can be replaced, but for the items that have sentimental value, worth, or personal. They can't be replaced, and those hurt the most. When my husband got his disability the state took most of it because they were housing our family in motels which we understand but because they took so much we had just enough to get a used vehicle and a down payment on our apartment. There wasn't enough left over to get both storage units open. I even borrowed money to be able to just get our furniture out of storage and a few other things.

Sometimes people don't understand what others are going through or just how hard things can be. What is sad is there are many people who don't even have what we have and that is scary. This is why when we can we try to help others out even if it makes things hard on our family.

So yes a few bad and sad things happened in the last year but there were also great moments. We have a church family that cares for us. Our older children visit when they can. We have our grand daughter Lilly over a few times a month, and had her most of the summer too. We became grandparents to another grandson this last summer so we now have two grand daughters and two grandsons to love.

We were able to take part in a few outings with our family which was much needed. Our children took part in many opportunities in our town and with their friends families which kept them pretty busy throughout the year. They are also doing well in school. Dorothy loves to swim and even though she had to give up swim club due to our van breaking down looks forward to swimming again as soon as she can. Deanna is over half way through her Criminal Justice classes this year and loves the classes she takes and has a clear goal for what she wants in the future. My son has become Deacon of our Home Church, Samantha is still struggling but making strides in her life path, Bryan got into some trouble last year and we have yet to be able to track him down or hear from him so we have been keeping him in our prayers, last but certainly not least Nesie is doing well, has a job she loves and enjoys going to each day as well as a volunteer job she does in between everything.

Besides our health issues my husband and I are doing well, making the best out of each day. I was able to read many books this year and even joined a book club. Check out my reading log here. I don't get there every month but I do read the books and keep up with what they are doing. One of our favorite things to do is play Call of Duty together. We would love to play games like Apex and Fornite together but we only have one TV and game system, so my husband plays those. I am yet to learn. I know that sounds silly but it has become one of the things we do for fun.

I want to thank all of our readers, friends, family, subscribers, and of course all of the companies I have had the pleasure of reviewing products for, for all of your support. A heartfelt thank you for the last year and for the year ahead. May everyone find something to be thankful for even in the darkest of times.

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Menopause or Pregnancy

Menopause or Pregnancy that is the question. With my current age it seems to lean more towards Menopause but I have never missed a menstrual cycle other then when I was pregnant or breastfeeding so our next move it to visit the Dr. for a prognosis. I am currently 3 weeks and counting late. Just the odds of getting pregnant naturally at my age is huge.

Being a born learner I wanted to become aware of all of the good and bad for either. The similarities between Menopause and Pregnancy are so close. Leave it up to God to make it so hard to tell the difference. Now I know why older women go into labor and never knew they were pregnant, they probably just thought they were going through Menopause. 

Pregnancy at my age will be hard.  The medication I am on has to come to stop for the healthiest pregnancy. Since I vomit everything up lets just say my body is rejecting the medication anyways. The chances of going full term or even better getting past the first trimester will be a miracle, but I have seen more then one in my day so I will go with whatever God has planned for us. 

Have we been trying to have another child? We were but gave up as we grew older and my weight went through the roof. We have posed the question to most of our children about having another sibling. Remember we now have 4 grand children of our own. Most of them are supportive but worry about our health and growing age which is understandable. My husband and I have been through all of these questions ourselves, knowing the risks, but also know that if we are blessed with another child it will be the will of God. 

Update soon. Let me know what you think below. If you have been through Menopause or have been pregnant at age 45 or above please give me some advice below. 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

My Word for 2007 is Journey

Yes you read that right Journey. Why because it will tell the story of mine and my families Journey throughout 2017. 2016 was a year filled with trials and tribulations which we have come through all alive and well for the most part. Life isn't easy by any means. There is always some hurdle, disaster, illness, or trauma to over come.

With 2017 very much still ahead of us with today only being the 4th.I want take my readers on a Journey with me from daily journeys, personal journeys, and most importantly my Journey with God. He is the reason why we made it through 2016 as well as we did.

I am still a bit behind in my blogs and social updates. Some of my regular readers and followers know that 2016 went out a bit exciting resulting in a big band of excitement for the beginning of 2017 with lots of interviews from News Channels about the surprise package I received.

I know I am leaving some of you scratching your heads. I know you are all on the edge of your seats waiting to hear details but I do promise to get the blog up about that very soon.

Join me on my Journey through 2017.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Sleep Over

Here I am lying in bed next to my oldest daughter while my grand daughter plays on my iPad. The day after Thanksgiving my oldest daughter calls wanting to spend the night. Dorothy and Deanna are off at Friends houses and I am all alone so of course I say yes, no matter the cost.

Samantha tells me she misses sleeping next to me. Something she hasn't done since she was a small girl, and something I never though she would miss. It fills my heart with happiness and sadness all at the same time. She was the baby who as soon as she was done breastfeeding wanted to be put down to sleep. No cuddling for her.

Last night as we slept or rather while she slept I brushed her hair with my fingers behind her ears and once I fell asleep was able to put my arm around her while we slept. I know she is skinny but being able to feel her bones while sleeping made it clear to me she is slipping away from us and I want to be able to help her heal.

She may not be my oldest child or my only child but she is my child, and I don't want to see any harm come to her. She has two beautiful daughters who lover her bunches and to think of them growing up without their mother breaks my heart.

Samantha for some reason just never realized just how beautiful she has always been. This sickness took over her mind, leaving her fighting everyday for her life.

Last night she took a shower and tried to take her potassium and she had to fight to keep it down, losing the battle but hoping enough of it stayed down to keep her from having to visit the hospital again.

Most of her hospital stays have been pretty much her on her own. With us having no vehicle or way to get to her we have been left to wonder if she is getting the care she needs, if she will make it through this time. It is scary as a parent when the phone rings and the first thing you think of will it be the call to tell you she isn't here anymore.

This is a child I stayed with while she was baby in the hospital never leaving her side, taking over all of the care for her once the Nurses taught me how to. The child I breastfed, even after having a bought of mastitis that caused blood poisoning, a child who a I made sure had everything we could afford so she could grow up healthy. She had all of her shots, we told her how beautiful and  proud we were of her.

As a teen she was a teen mom who we supported all of the way. She continued school through her pregnancy was the first to pump milk for her daughter while attending high school, and finished on time with a scholarship to college. She is smart, beautiful, and brings joy to our hearts. I pray for her health every night but know that God will only do what he has planned, which I know not.

As a mother I worry about my children. I miss the ones I don't see often, love the time with those who are home, while praying for their salvation and health. I love them all the same but worry about my Samantha the most. She needs me as a mother and with what we are going through it is hard to give her the care she so desperately needs.

As I am ending this I can hear her breathing which is like music to my ears. If there is breath there is life which gives me hope of another day with this sweet child of mine. So begins another day with a daughter battling anorexia and bulimia.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Homeless in Marksville Day 20

Homeless in Marksville Day 20 July 25th, 2016

This morning Samantha came by to take us to do our laundry and check on me. We did our laundry then we were off to get a few things at the store including epsom salt to soak my toe in  before returning home.

Once home I tried to get a few things done but my toe was hurting more as the day went on so I decided to get into the tub to soak my foot. As the blood dissolved away, more of my toe nail lifted up. The only thing that kept it attached was a very small piece of skin that was holding on for dear life. I finally cut it with first aid scissors and was relieved of pain right away.

When I was all dry and ready for bed we were able to look at my toe more closely and thankfully the nail bed is still there, I just have to watch for ingrown toenails as it grows out again. I am just thankful the pain is gone.

When Dennis saw the picture on Facebook he had no idea it was that bad and is also glad that my toe is OK.  We were all tired from being up so late with my toe so we turned in early.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Homeless in Marksville Day 19

Homeless in Marksville Day 19 July 24, 2016

I slept in a bit then got all settled down to do some blogging when the girls showed up home two days early. I guess they were a little wild so they brought them home. So after the kids were settled we were starting to make Brownies when Deanna somehow tripped and stubbed her foot into my big toe.

All of a sudden there was pain and lots of blood everywhere. After things calmed down and a call to both Dennis and then Dennis to Samantha help was on the way. My left toe nail had literally cracked and then lifted up spraying blood everywhere. I am good at taking care of blood if it is not mine, but with mine I lose it fast.

After getting my toe wrapped up as much as possible and getting it higher then my heart, the adrenaline stopped and the pain started getting strong and my toe was throbbing bad. I was just starting to fall to sleep when Samantha came to check on me and the look on her face wasn't good, she said she would go to the hospital, but I said I would see how it was the next day.

My biggest fear is getting an infection so if I can get by without getting one I would be good to go. I took some pain medication and went to sleep while snuggling with the girls. By the way the brownies came out fine.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Homeless in Marksville Day 18

Homeless in Marksville Day 18 July 23, 2016

Saturday was pretty quiet. Just me here. I was able to get several blogs done and spend some time video chatting Dennis. I also took a nap and cleaned up the room. Being here without the kids is a bit different. Way to quiet by myself, but much appreciated.

I did go for a small walk to check the mail which I found out comes from the office not the mailboxes, but at least I now know how our mail comes. So far they have been bringing my review items over and leaving them outside of our room, which is working out good.

There are still a few packages missing, but most of the companies I am working with are replacing the items that are missing so I can get my reviews done which I am thankful for.

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Homeless in Marksville Day 17

Homeless in Marksville Day 17  July 22, 2016

Today the girls and I had planned to sleep in, but we all woke up around 9 AM so we got dressed, had breakfast and then changed out the sheets, comforters, and even borrowed the vacumn from the maid so we could vacumn the room before the girls left to go with Dennise for the weekend.

Soon after Samantha came and dropped off Lilly as she was going with the girls to visit, but had to run back to her place to get her bathing suit. She dropped it off and then was off to get ready to go to work herself.

Shortly after she left Dennise showed up to take the girls for the weekend. I was able to chat with Dennis a bit while getting a few reviews done. I had a meeting with another agency that will help us out as well. Lots of paperwork, and a packet to be filled out by Monday which she will pick up. We will work with her 3 days a week for 3 months. If we still need help at the end of 3 months we get into another program that will run for a longer period of time for 2 days a week.

She will meet with Dennis sometime next week to get him up to speed on the program and what they are going to help us with. Not sure if the kids are ready for all of this but hey what ever gets us back on our feet the quickest I am all for.

Once she left I let the little boy next door play with my yoga ball and the baseball and bat that I am reviewing, while I was getting dinner ready, and trying to chat with Dennis. My internet has been iffy today so we were not able to communicate all that much. When I finally got a hold of him he was off with a friend from his job where he got hurt to attend a string quartet at a church his friend attends.

Anything that can get him out and about and keep him from being depressed I am all for. I thought I should get on here and finish my reviews but the internet is still iffy so I decided to get my blog up for today or at least write it and get it posted when the internet comes back on.

I have a lonely weekend ahead of me, so I am going to try and get ahead on my reviews as much as I can, get some reading in, maybe watch a few movies or shows, and take a nice relaxing bubble bath. I had bought it to have girls night with the girls but they aren't here so I thought I would have one with myself.

Friday, July 29, 2016

Homeless in Marksville Day 16

Homeless in Marksville Day 16, July 21, 2016

Here we are on what we call Homeless day. The kids and I are up and ready at the crack of dawn to be ready for our ride to Social Services. Deanna wanted to stay home so she stayed here, while Dorothy and I left to go.

I was dropped off at Columbia Opportunities to print off my apartment/ house searches which you have to do every week and you have to do at least 6. I am not sure why they don't have Computers or Printers available at Social Services for this as it would make things go more quickly as well as cut down on the gas and driving their workers are doing, but this is the way it works. Since our two printers are somewhere in storage and I wouldn't know how to hook up one without help from Dennis. He is the tech, I am the internet user.

I had to wait for the person who watches over the computers to get to work, As I have said before I know a lot of people and the person who looks after the computers is one of them. Once signed on  I was able to quickly print out what I needed. Dorothy enjoyed some chips from the computer baby sitter while I was doing my things, and then called for a ride from Columbia Opportunities to Department of Social Services to hand in my papers.

At Social Services you are greeted by two police officers. Sometimes I know who is on other times they are strangers to me. You go through a metal detector, then meet with a switchboard person who puts you name on a list and calls your worker.

My worker was out so a nice temp took my information and then got the OK for me to call and pay for a cab myself and when it was time to get a ride back to our motel they would pick me up at Walmart instead of at Department of Social Services.

Depending on what time you are picked up we were picked up around 8:45Am I was done with Columbia Opportunities before 10:00 AM and done with Social Services at 10:45 or so. I would have had to sit around Social Services from then till about 2:00-2:30 for my ride home.

I paid 6.00 for a cab from DSS to Walmart and gave the driver a 1.00 tip, so that I could get things we needed like food, dish soap, etc. I was also able to get a little something for the girls to keep them busy, and spend some one on one time with Dorothy which she didn't get at the beginning of the week due to Lilly being over.

They picked us up around 2:30 we had just gotten done with eating some ice cream cones from Walmart, so we loaded up the van and we were then driven home. When we got home Deanna has locked herself out of our room but it had just happened so she hadn't been out there long. I am so glad because it was hot.

We put everything away and Deanna said that Dennise had wanted to come and get her, Dorothy, and Lilly so they could swim this weekend and see the Fireworks. There was a bit of time getting everything settled but it did get done. You just can't make everyone happy so you have to compromise.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Homeless in Marksville Day 15

Homeless in Marksville Day 15 July 20th 2016

This morning we tried to sleep in but we were up early, ate breakfast, got dressed, and did a few things around the room until it was time to leave for Dorothy's appointment. Deanna stayed at the motel.

When we go to our appointment the cab was just dropping off our bag with my husband's shirt and Uno game inside. This cab company went above and beyond I give them a thumbs up for their effort.

Dorothy's appointment went well and she was only upset once when we were talking about her nightmares and sleepwalking. She used to have dreams where bunnies were eating her but we told her to feed them carrots and lettuce and they stopped but now she is having others and she won't tell us about them, I hope she tells her therapist about them.

When we got home we made dinner and then the kids went outside for a while. I am just finishing this up before I move on to my reviews as well as paperwork I have to have in for tomorrow. Thursdays for our family is what we call Homeless days will tell you more about how they go tomorrow as it will be my first time going through the whole process.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Homeless in Marksville Day 14

Today we were able to sleep in and enjoy the cool air but of course we really didn't sleep in too late. We knew Lilly would be dropped off my daughter was due for a procedure that later we found out was canceled, and Deanna would be coming home so she could go to her first therapy session.

We were able to get a few things done before they were here to pick us up for Deanna's appointment. It went well. Deanna acted up and fought with her sister right in front of the therapist so I guess that is good she saw it in action even if it was low level what she was seeing.

Right after we had an appointment for the girls to see Dennis, which went well. We did leave a bag in the cab that had my husband's shirt and the Uno game in it, but Dennis had cards with him so they were still able to play. The therapist noticed how Deanna lied and cheated through the whole game even though Dennis tried to get her to play fairly.

Once we were home we were all tuckered out so took a small nap, then we had dinner, and I did my reviews before we watched an episode of Gidget before we turned in for the night.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Homeless in Marksville Day 13

Homeless in Marksville Day 13 July 18th 2016

This morning we woke to be ready for Samantha to take us to do laundry. There was a knock at the door and it was the owner saying they were going to put an air conditioner. I was thinking it would be old and used but  it turned out to be brand new out of the box, very happy.

We had just finished breakfast when she arrived and we were off to do the laundry which went quickly. I also changed our address, stopped at the Dollar General, and of course stopped to get a few things to eat since our fridge is so small you can only old about three days of food if that inside at a time.

Storage while Homeless in a motel

Today I wanted to hit on storage. As you see above we have one of those little dorm fridges, you know the kind that are to keep your leftovers or drinks cool. They aren't made to store food for long term or to keep enough food for one person never mind a whole family for a week or more till they can go shopping again.

Mind you when my daughter can she takes me shopping but we still run out of things in between, which brings me to another conversation I will bring up at a later time.

We also have a tiny microwave, while bigger then that last motel this one as a touch screen control rather then a dial, but it is still small. We are lucky to have a toaster oven which was provided by another agency that is helping us out but once we are done it will be moved onto another family who can use it.

I also just picked up a single burner but I don't have pots or pans to cook with yet. Every time we need something or buy something besides the single burner I know we have in storage far away from us, it stings because it using the very little money we are given just to get things started.

This motel has a closet which I keep my review items in, and drawers which my girls keep their clothes in with the others being used for storage for our eating and cooking products, as well as our food. Myself I am living out of the only suitcase our family still owned.

On top where the microwave is we have our boxes of drinks, the hermit crab, and misc. items that change depending on need. It isn't easy, most of the things we are eating right now are junk. I need more cooking items so that I can feed my kids properly. They bellies aren't used to all of this junk and neither is mine.

We are ever thankful for our blessings, and we know that this time will come to an end and we will all be together in a home somewhere in the future.